They never get any better!!


 How do sheep greet each other at Christmas? A merry Christmas to ewe.


What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn? Where's popcorn?


What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick!!


What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A walkie talkie.


Why did the rocket loose his job? He was fired.


What is the best thing about deadly snakes? They've got poisonality.


What does a transvestite like to do at Christmas? Eat, drink & be Mary...


What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations? Tinselitus


I got a sweater for Christmas .
What I really wanted was a screamer or a moaner.


What did one snowman say to the other snowman?..... Can you smell carrots?


Why did the bank manager go on holiday to Spain? Because he heard you could get a good sun tan Der!


If a red house is made of red bricks, a yellow house is made of yellow bricks, What's a green house made of. Glass of course.


One snow man says to the other snow man, 'Can you smell carrots'


What's Santa's favourite pizza. - deep pan, crisp and even


What often falls but never gets hurt? Rain.
What is black and white and red all over. A newspaper.


What fish is famous? A star fish


Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 9.


What award goes to designers of door knockers? No bell prize


Why did the rocket loose his job? He got fired.


What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.


Why did the doughnut seller retire?  He was fed up of the hole business.


Why does Santa have three gardens? So he can 'ho ho ho'!


What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Claustrophobic.


Why did the robber have a bath?  Because he wanted a clean getaway


Who delivers presents to cats? Santa Paws!


 What is a frog's favourite drink? Croakacola!


What type of motor bike does Santa ride? Holly Davidson.


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