Burnt my Hawaiian pizza today!  Should have put it on aloha setting!


Why did the Jelly baby go to school? He wanted to be a smartie!


My wife laughed when I told her I was going to make a car out of spaghetti.

She soon stopped when I drove pasta!


Bloke thought he'd try something new at the local curry house. He went for Pelican Madras. Quite tasty but the bill was enormous!!

 A drunk bloke walks past a man repairing a car.

“What’s up?” says the drunk.

“Piston broke”, says the mechanic.

“Ha ha” answers the drunk, “Me too!”

How does Bob Marley like his donuts? With Jamin!


Why do the French like to eat snails? Because they don't like fast food!


What do dinosaurs put on their chips? Tomatosaurus


Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? To go with the jellyfish!


What's white and fluffy and swings through the jungle  a......meringue-utan!


Waiter, this food tastes kind of funny?  Then why aren't you laughing!


What did the baby corn say to it's mum?  Where is pop corn?


Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.


Did you hear the joke about the peanut butter? I'm not telling you. You might spread it!


Why is the beach never hungry, because of all the sandwiches.

A paramedic was called out to a vegan couple who'd overdosed on vegetables. 

The first thing he did was take their pulses.

Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke? Because it might crack up!

Send us your Jokes, we will print your name too if you want!